Idiot's guide to the Pegasus Galaxy extended verison
by Kelly Riker
Summary: I'm only borrowing certain rules from Daelena. If you want to read the original, I suggest checking that one out, it'll knock your socks off with how much stupid things the Expedition does.
1. Ghostbusters' Atlantis verison

**A/N: This came from one of rules from The Idiot's Guide to the Pegasus Galxay by Daelena. The full rule of this song was number 12. I'll post it since it's related but if you want anymore funnies, I'll just say this. GO READ IT! It's hilarious! **

**12. The Ghostbusters Theme Song is not to be played around Colonel Caldwell.**

A. Or any of the invented lyrics.

B. He does go back to Earth on a regular basis.

The Ghostbusters Song was a personal favorite of many of the expedition members. But, Caldwell didn't see the humor in it, so no one played it when he was around. But they liked to hum the melody, or mumble any of the Atlantis-modified lyrics.

**Now the lyrics!**

ATLANTEANS!

If there's a culling

on your village sized town

Who you gonna call?

ATLANTEANS!

If there is trouble,

And it don't look good.

Who are you gonna call?

ATLANTEANS!

I ain't afraid of no Wraith!

I ain't afraid of no Genii!

If your seeing things,

Running through the for'st

Who are you gonna call?

ATLANTEANS!

Captured with no escape?

A-1 can rescue you.

Who are you gonna call?  
ATLANTEANS!

I ain't afraid of no Wraith

I ain't afraid of no Genii

Who are you gonna call?

ATLANTEANS!

If backup

doesn't come

Fly like

ATLANTEANS!

You're sranded in outerspace?

With no escape plans?

Than Dial

ATLANTEANS!

Stargate broken?

Rodney will fix it for you

I ain't afraid of no Genii.

I ain't afraid of no Wraith.

Don't get caught alone

Just dial

ATLANTEANS!

When it shoots down your Jumper,

Unless you want to get fed on.

I think you'd better dial

ATLANTEANS!

Who you gonna dial?

ATLANTEANS!

Who'd you gonna dial?

ATLANTEANS!

Who'd you gonna dial?

ATLANTEANS!

Who'd you gonna dial?

ATLANTEANS!

I can't hear you.

Who'd you gonna dial?

ATLANTEANS!

Louder!

ATLANTEANS!

Who'd you gonna dial?

ATLANTEANS!

(fades)

I think John Sheppard is Kirk, too.


	2. Rule 7, bringing Scientists toys

**Rule number Seven. The scientists are allowed to play with children's toys.**

**A/N: This is rule seven the whole rule will get posted just like the other one, at the top of the page. So no freaking out about not knowing said rule please! **

**Rule #7, The Scientists are allowed to play with children's toys.**

_Apparently, the scientists had bribed the Daedalus crew to bring them Earth toys. Now, the brightest minds of two galaxies were playing with things like Legos and Tinker Toys. It was kinda scary but wicked cool when they used the toys during a demonstration._

Atlantis was being it's usual crazy selves, right before the Daedalus dropped off much needed supplies. There was already a hoarding of coffee going on, but that's another story. Anyway, back to this one. The Scientists were acting more secretive than normal, well normal for them and all. You have two scientists in the same room and they end up not telling each other everything, same went for magicians, I mean who could blame them for not telling their secrets? It kept them in business after all.

Any-who, I've got to stop with the rabbit trails. The Daedalus was due back at Atlantis in two days, and the Scientists were acting might suspicious. The soldiers werenormally suspicious but that's because they had been in plenty of life and death situations, but Scientists, they couldn't keep secrets for nothing. Just ask any scientist off the street and they'll end up blurting out every single secret they have.

When the Daedalus arrived, two days later, all the scientists were acting like it was Christmas. It wasn't even July, yet people! After, beaming several crates down to the gate room, the whole crew of scientists had gone through every single box and pulled out.. legos, tinker toys, duplex blocks, if it could build cool things, like K'nex and stuff, they had it brought to Atlantis. When the Soldiers saw all the Scientists acting like children, their eye-balls were on the floor, rolling. They SO did not see that one coming.

For the remaining afternoon and two whole days, walking into the labs was hazardous for your health. Walking on Legos is not possible, the soldiers found out, especially if you were bare-foot or you broke the scientists' Legos. But for the first two demonstrations, everyone wanted to see what the Scientists had built. The first one was a gate and surrounding area of a planet, complete with ruins and everything.

The scientist who built it ended up having to leave it in the briefing room, so that everyone that wanted to see it, could. Everyone was mightily impressed, too. The 'gate looked authentic and the ruins, oh those were like miniature ones of the planet's. People ended up making lego people, that looked like each other, and Dr. Weird having to devote a whole room to Legos.

The Second demo, was of a Jumper and a couple hive ships and thousands of darts. It looked like it had taken hours to finish, so no one touched it, they didn't want to ruin it for the others. Every one, including Ronon was impressed by the amount of detail the ships had. That coming from Ronon was like getting a Nobel prize, he wasn't that talkative.

And once everyone had seen the first two demonstrations, if there were any more demos, every single person in Atlantis would drop what they'd be doing and go see it. The Legos, K'Nexes, Tinker toys, and several others had made their name known in the Pegasus Galaxy it looked like. And now, in every shipment, there is one box full of toys for the Scientists, and one rec room, had undoubted become the play room, because even Scientists needed some children toys. It helped the ideas flow and they came up with wackier and more crazy plans from then on. Which in the Pegasus galaxy was saying something, because Earth was steadily getting saner, while the Pegasus Galaxy was getting all the crazies.


	3. be nice to the women, rule 17

** nice to the women.**

_**So, the all-male A-10 had made a crack or two. Unfortunately, they had made it in the presence of Elizabeth, Teyla, Miko and Lt. Laura Cadmen. The rest of the base cringed when those four got together. Only the Formidable Four, as they were now called, could create such a reaction.**_

***()***

A-10, the all male team was walking down to the mess, one day. Boys being boys, well in this case, men being men. They had to make jokes about the women of Atlantis. Specifically who was hot and who wasn't. And of course they dind not see Elizabeth, Telya, Miko, and Cadmen coming around the the men weren't just throwing them around quietly either, no, they were in fact, being quite loud.

So Miko and the rest got together and decided to give the whole crew of A-10, pay back. And let me tell you, when you have the commander, a sciensist, The Athos leader, and a weapons explosives expert together, be perpared to be served Hell on a silver platter. And Cadmen had rigged the whole hallways of Atlantis to have blank explosives going off, with the whole special effects included.

And that's excatly what A-10 were served, Hell on a silver Platter. The women didn't just take pranking to a whole 'nother level, but also scared the A-10 team into submission, and let me tell you, trained Marines arent easy to scare. Miko and Cadmen designed an exploading sound machine, one where you could get the weapons fire of Wraith darts, cruisers, and Hive ships. Telya used her Wraith gene to telepathically try to control the Team, so they actually thought that Wraith had taken over Atlantis. Doctor Weir had dressed up like a Wraith Queen along with the rest of the team. (And in the Atlanteas' opinion, she looked very fierce and scarey.) And then the four women went on a hunt and scared the highly trained Marines into wetting their pants.

A-10 was than treated to the Wrath of Four very scarey women, when angered. They spent the next two days, getting the crap scared out of them at every turn. To the rest of the Expedition, it was incredible what the four had come up with in such a short time.

And the rest of the base learned a very vauluable lesson that day. 1, Hell has no fury like the Formidable Four and 2, Never joke around about the Women, or you will be treated like A-10, who still start to shake like crazy and then promtly hide under the nearest table, whenever the rest start to give the nudge-nudge, wink-wink signal. The men of A-10 had learned their lesson after ten days of getting hunted by the Formidable Four dressed as Wraith Queens.

And the rest of Atlantis learned never to joke about the female population with the Formidable Four, as they soon became called, in the intermediate visinaty.


End file.
